The Trick Is to Keep Breathing
by knitterlywitch
Summary: First year. Sirius Black is angry, he decides his new roommate Remus Lupin is the perfect target for his rage. Then he discovers just because one wears a smile, it doesn't mean they can't hurt you.


Title: The Trick Is to Keep Breathing  
**Characters/Pairing:** Sirius/Remus pre-slash  
**Summary: **First year. Sirius Black is angry, he decides his new roommate Remus Lupin is the perfect target for his rage. Then he discovers just because one wears a smile, it doesn't mean they can't hurt you. Wanting to write my fix for Dom!Remus while not writing it graphically.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warning:** Violence, profanity, unbetaed fic.  
A/N: In my version of Cannon Remus's parents never married... That will help the story make more sense. Also this is kind of a companion fic to St. Nicolas, which is on both my FFN account and on my LJ, though it can be read separately.  
Dedication: This fic is dedicated to my friend from school whose relationship had a similar start, though I know he'll never read it.

Smiling was as normal as breathing to Remus Lupin; it didn't mean he was happy though. It was a way of getting people to trust him; a person wasn't a threatening looking if they smiled at you. Aside from that, he thought perhaps, if he pretended to be happy long enough he would become happy; though so far it hadn't worked.

Sirius Black was an angry child, unlike Lupin however he didn't hide under a mask. He instead misdirected his anger; away from his parents who could harm him and toward his schoolmates. He was angry about his mother killing their house elf Wistry for sneaking him food when his parents locked him in the basement; fuming about being placed in Gryffindor; and absolutely livid that the teachers didn't take notice to his lineage and intelligence and put him ahead a year or two. He, like most bullies, focused on the weakest targets, so Lupin stood right out, no family or friends at school, always smiling, and so fragile looking; he was an easy target, or so Black thought.

So he began to toy with the boy; first he made fun of the quality of the boy's robes, even going as far as circulating a photo of the boy's father wearing the same robes, back in his first year, 1941. If Lupin even noticed he gave no sign.

Then he stole Lupin's wand and snapped it in half, leaving it on the boy's pillow, knowing, or hoping at the very least, the boy's parents wouldn't be able to buy him a replacement one. Then Professor Flitwick and McGonagall decided a class on wand-less magic was needed. Even this failed to get a rise out of the boy.

Black tried messing with Lupin's potions when his back was turned or putting itching powder in the boy's only pullover. Nothing worked, either Lupin truly felt nothing or Black wasn't using the right tactics, finally he decided to stop pulling punches and attack Lupin where Black was sure it would hurt his family.

He waited until both of his other roommates, Pettigrew and Potter, left the dorm, making it just him and Lupin. Then he asked the question:

"Lupin, your father wouldn't happen to be the reporter for the Daily Prophet, would he?"

"Yeah, he writes the opinion column."

"Oh, I guess that would be why my mum doesn't let me read it; too much pro-muggle bias. You're mum's a Mudblood isn't she, Lupin?"

"My mum is a muggle born, yes." Lupin seemed to be staring rather intently at a small hole in his blanket.

"I heard your parents never got married; guess that would make you a bastard wouldn't it?"

"Your logic is rather astounding, Black; really, it makes me dizzy trying to figure out how exactly you worked that out."

"Is it true why your parents never married?"

"Because they felt a piece of paper and two silly metal circles didn't mean love? Yeah, that's true," Lupin asked, making the hole in his blanket larger rather than look at Black.

"No, my mum says it's because your dad wasn't sure he really was your dad; apparently your mum wasn't a virgin when she got with your dear old dad."

Lupin said nothing.

"Know what that makes you, Lupin? The bastard son of a Mudblood harlot."

Remus was fast and strong, one of the few blessings that came with the curse of lycanthrope; before Black knew it he was pinned against the wall.

"Apologize for what you said about my mother; say all you want about me Black, but leave my mother out of it."

"Why? It's true, my mum says-"

There was a loud noise as Lupin's fist connected with Black's jaw; Lupin had broken enough bones to know that was what had happened, and to know Black needed it healed, but he kept hitting, punching, until Black stopped resisting and went unconscious. Then he went to the hospital wing and got Madame Pomfrey.

He sat outside the room where Black was being patched up and started to resign himself to the fact that, at the very least, he would be expelled. He started to think about what would happen, would the Ministry rule he was a danger even when not in wolf form and put him down? If they didn't would the tutor from the school in Israel his mother had almost arranged before he was accepted to Hogwarts be able to train him? Would Black's family sue his? Would his parents lose their home?

Dumbledore was called down to talk to Black; the questioning seemed to take hours. Then finally the old man came out.

"Mr. Lupin, I'd like to thank you for saving Mr. Black," Dumbledore said, giving him a small smile.

"I didn't save Black; he called my mum a harlot and I socked him, I couldn't stop."

"That's not what he said happened, he said a rouge thestral came through the window and caused all his injuries. He said you rescued him by casting a stunning spell on it. Are you saying that isn't true?"

"Yes, sir. I socked him; that's how he got hurt."

"Mr. Black's story was far more convincing."

"But it wasn't the truth, I really did beat on Black; I'm telling the truth, sir"

Then the doors to the hospital wing opened. Black came out, fully healed, except for an arm in a white cotton sling.

"You can drop the lie, Lupin, just because you're homesick doesn't mean you should lie so you get expelled," said Black with a grin.

"But- "asked Lupin staring at Black, who mouthed at him 'I'll tell you later.'

"Because of your heroism, I do believe house points are in order; does fifty points for courage sound about right?"

Lupin simply stared at the Headmaster. "You shouldn't be giving me points, sir; at best you should be taking them away, at worst expelling me."

"Mr. Black, could you escort Mr. Lupin to the dormitory? I think after the day he's had he needs to lie down."

"Of course, Headmaster."

Once the two boys were out of earshot of Dumbledore, Lupin asked, trying to return to his usual calm,

"What was that about? A thestral? Why did you cover for me, Black?"

"You didn't deserve how I was treating you."

"Well that's been quite clear from the beginning."

"I egged you on; I was practically begging for karmic vengeance. You did nothing and I treated you like crap. I've been a-" Black paused trying to think of a word other than the one that got him punched before.

"Jerk, arsehole, pureblood elitist fool, prick?" Lupin supplied.

"All of those, I've been a horrible person to you and I didn't want you to get expelled for something I drove you to do; you're a good guy Lupin, smart too and I didn't want you to miss out on this because of me."

"Too bad, I'll still miss out; after next week I won't be able to do anything in charms or transfiguration, someone broke my wand."

"You can share mine."

"One wizard's wand won't work for another wizard."

"Unless the wizard wins it. You knocked me unconscious; you won it. Give it a try, bet it'll work," Black held the wand out.

Lupin gave the wand a small flick and muttered a spell. A vase in the hallway turned from blue to red.

"You might be right, Black."

"You can call me Sirius, all my friends do."

"Then I guess you can call me Remus if we're friends."

END


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